Today I did not own my Sunday. It was taken up with my mother needing company. I see my mother on weekdays at least 4 times a week. So I was not at all happy with her request to go over and spend some time with her. I thought to myself please allow me a day on my own mother!
It is not easy with an elderly parent who is so dependent on their children. My siblings pay an equal part in my mother’s care. Though I am more selfish with my time.
I just had to make it clear to my mother today , I can either come over on Saturdays or carry on as we are, seeing her 4 times a week. I just cannot do both. I need time to myself. She felt guilty. I felt terrible for being so selfish. She said that she prefers the current status of 4 times a week visits.
I just wonder, what will I be like if and when I get to the elderly stage? My mother has her children. I will not have anyone. I will not have a choice to be dependent on others.
Will the State take over my care? Will I be in some home where staff won’t give a damn? Hell I hope by that time UK will be broad minded enough for the medical profession to help me to die when I think now is best time, rather than wait for nature that will make me and others around me suffer.
I know this is a depressing subject for a Sunday. What do you expect, my Sunday was taken from me!