It is not my normal Sunday ramblings today. I am sure you will understand.
After you reach a certain age, you no longer look forward to your birthdays. In fact you dread them since they are a reminder that you really are getting on.
Today, I am firmly into my middle aged years and within just a few years I will be part of the wrinkles brigade.
The key question that my brain is asking me is have I had a good life?
I suppose I should be thankful for all the good things in my life. The thing is I am not. Those good things are just not enough. Plus there are not that many good things.
I have worked extremely hard to get to where I am. This includes studying for ACCA, MBA and also entrance requirements for Uni. In anything that you do, there is always a price to pay. The price I paid is being a loner. I do not think I mind this. In fact most of the time I like it.
I am no mood for motivational mumbo jumbo today. The future is not what you make it. The future depends on the environment your accident of birth or luck has placed you. All you can do is work hard to get out of that environment or stay in that environment.
I am not happy with my current environment. My business should be so much better, I should not be fat and my home should be a lot better state. I am working hard to change all this.
There is one positive about ageing ( I rather be younger!) is confidence. In that you become more comfortable with who you are and accept yourself for who you are.
What does the future hold for me? More fuckin hard work. I will try now and then to take breaks.